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Monday, April 18, 2005

Just In: WMD Found

CNN reports in a pre-dawn raid elements of the US 4th Infantry, acting on a tip from locals in Northern Iraq, discovered close to the Syrian border a cleverly camouflaged large underground bunker complex full of biological warfare equipment and substantial quantities of anthrax, botulism and other live bacterial and viral material. The lone guard, a tall and heavily armed local man was captured without casualty and is under close interrogation. The London Daily Mail broke the story with the headline 'Burly Kurd Hatches Germ.'

Which brings me to the point of this post, which is to lament the absence in New Zealand of the thinking man's comedy. The BBC some years ago produced wonderful radio comedy with programmes like My Music and My Word. Two of the sharpest and most eloquent wits presided, Dennis Norden and Frank Muir. They were superb and they specialized in the sort of tall story you have just endured. One of them was late paying a dentist's account and described an official repossession notice attached to a covering letter which began: - Dear Bastard, Our business is based on our valued clients but in your case............ Two generations earlier, intelligent people enjoyed Churchill's many exchanges, often with members of the Wimmins' Division (alcohol and beauty) but my favourite is the exchange of letters with Bernard Shaw, paraphrased thus:

Dear Winston
My new play opens at the Tivoli next Thursday and I am pleased to enclose two complementary tickets for you and a friend, if you have one. Shaw

My dear Shaw
Congratulations on the pending opening of you play. I am honoured you should think of me. With regret I advise of a prior engagement next Thursday and therefore I am returning your tickets. Would you kindly send tickets for your Friday evening performance, if you have one. Winston

Somewhere in New Zealand there must be people of equivalent intellectual horsepower and personality who could be gathered together to good effect. So much better than the lefty drivel one hears most of the time on morning Left Wing Radio. The genre is ideal for radio which, unlike the force fed 'in your face' manner of TV, allows one's own imagination to range through a huge variety of subtleties unknown to the producers of A Game of Two Halves.

When I look around the blogosphere I zero in on Peter Metcalf, whose infrequent utterances are laden with great promise of more to come. From the conservative side of politics I am hard pressed to make a selection and from Labour I would not go past Michael Cullen. There must be some starters in the legal profession and of course from Cricket there is Jeremy Coney. Who is there from rugby? What of the captains of industry?

Come on folks, pick us a team.

Posted by Adolf Fiinkensein | 4/18/2005 09:12:00 am


Blogger Aaron Bhatnagar said...

Where's the link to the WMD news?

4/18/2005 09:31:00 am  
Blogger Adolf Fiinkensein said...

Aaron, that really is so bloody funny!!!!!!!

4/18/2005 09:33:00 am  
Blogger ZenTiger said...

Ah, if only Mr Shaw had a blog in those days...

4/18/2005 09:47:00 am  
Blogger peasant said...

In rugby the standout to me is one Andrew Mehrtens, who always has an interesting turn of phrase. There are the commentators like Bull Allen or Murray Mexted, but Mehrts usually gives a witty soundbite...

4/18/2005 06:43:00 pm  
Blogger Antarctic Lemur said...

Agree on the Metcalph comment. There's a couple of other excellent bloggers, such as GoNZo Freakpower.

4/18/2005 07:35:00 pm  

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