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Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Questions of Gravity

I think it was GMan who started off the fairly regular random impertinent questions (or at least that's where I noticed them first), thus this post is dedicated to him. I was wondering if I have the time and energy to create a post tonight, and decided in the end just to jot down a few thoughts from today's experiences:

1. I didn't know cows mourn the loss of a herd member. The cows up the road are all mooing in mourning. Tis somewhat sad. The cow in question was around one year old, and just literally dropped dead. An acquaintance, in the true spirit of "waste not want not" has taken to the cow with a chainsaw and knife. He has three strapping dogs to feed (they all have alibis)

2. Now that smoking has been banned at pubs, might I suggest we start a campaign where social workers are not required to visit homes of smokers (the passive smoking dangers are insurmountable). Perhaps the P.C. crowd could also require a "Warning - Smoker within" sign to be erected on the property, to avoid ACC claims from unsuspecting burglars.

3. Why is abbreviated such a long word?

4. If Labour form a coalition, we'll have the papers saying "Labour form inclusive government". If National do it, will the papers read "power at any price"?

5. Is it possible the neighbours cat is a socialist? It has no concept of private property. Whilst our cats earn their keep by catching mice it ponces up and down the section acting like it's working but actually does SFA. It then pisses on our doorstep, and demands half the food.

Posted by ZenTiger | 10/12/2005 10:11:00 PM

14 Comments:

Blogger Paul said...

Well, as far as #5 goes just enact a piece of legislation called For Cats and Nwetered For Sure.

That should deal to any property rights the cats thought they had.

It might cause a spin-off political party called the Moggy Party, but you will have brought that upon youself by installing a Litter Party government in 2002.

10/12/2005 10:21:00 PM  
Blogger Chefen said...

I had a cat who would eat dinner/breakfast at home, then stroll next door where the neighbours would dutifully feed him again. Then he'd sun himself all day. I guess he was a mafioso, or maybe a union boss. Either way, one fat cat.

10/12/2005 10:22:00 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

chefen, are you sure that's not Pita Sharpels you mention? Politically speaking of course ;)

10/12/2005 10:31:00 PM  
Blogger ZenTiger said...

Maybe I need to create one of those on-line quizzes: What political ideology does your pet follow?

Or perhaps more ambitious: "How to select the pet that matches your political philosophy".

10/12/2005 10:34:00 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

Zen Tiger, please don't! I'm a poodle kind of guy, poodles are great dogs, but there is no way I would want an internet quiz to associate me with Peter Dunne's hair let alone his politics! Please don't do it, please don't.

10/12/2005 10:38:00 PM  
Blogger Cathy Odgers said...

#1 - if a guy gets out a chainsaw and randomly hacks at one of their own even if it is dead well of course they are going to moo.

Quite simply cows moo when they want the owners attention. This is fine when they are down the back of the farm but growing up with a bedroom right next to the calving paddock, you can see why I get grumpy when I don't get a full nights sleep!

10/13/2005 01:01:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

paul..standards or small..?

zen...given you acknowledge the mourning/grief of the cows...how do you think the mothers feel when their newborn calves are taken off them to be fattened for veal..and so milk (intelligently designed of course,for their offspring) can still be taken from them...

cows calling for their owners/opressors..ha....(they are grieving over the loss/seperation from their calves..)

they are keening..

phil(whoar.co.nz)

10/13/2005 06:32:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

btw zen it is obvious the neighbors cat is a rightwinger...y'know that whole 'what about me..what about me..what about me'' mantra they live by..

arbitrary invasion (and continued occupation) of neighbors' property to seize assets....cf george bush

standover tactics..demanding to claw-back rights privileges from the less well off..with absolutely no concern or care for the consequences to others of their actions...that cat is definitly a raving rightwing loony...eh..?

phil(whoar.co.nz)

10/13/2005 06:42:00 AM  
Blogger ZenTiger said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10/13/2005 09:24:00 AM  
Blogger ZenTiger said...

Cathy - The chainsaw attack didn't happen until two days after the untimely demise of the bovine, and the carcass had been moved to a more respectable location.

Phil - As a person on the edge of being a loony animal activist, the whole veal thing sets me on edge. Life (and death) can be angst ridden and often seems complicated. This is where my Zen training comes in. There is this concept called Mu (Moo).

The Zen question is "Does even a cow have Buddha nature?

I hope that answers your question.

10/13/2005 09:25:00 AM  
Blogger ZenTiger said...

Phil, regarding the right wing cat:

Oh, c'mon! "What about me" is clearly left wing mantra. Left wing envy - "hey, that guy makes 100K. I'm unlucky, so he has to chip in 50K in taxes. What about me."

"Invasion to seize assets" is completely different than turning up and demanding them. This cat isn't fighting for anything. He is too arrogant for that. He thinks he already deserves it.

Standover tactics to claw back privileges FROM the less well off? Mate - our cats are very well off. No, it's stand over tactics demanding tucker from the well off. He'd be union if anything.

The only point I'd concede that would make the cat right wing is that he's doing all the demanding himself, he even uses his own urine. A socialist cat would probably have a complete bureaucracy of cats petitioning us for food. Still, he could be an oppressed worker. If I up his pay rate to $12 per hour, do you think he'll stop pissing everywhere?

10/13/2005 09:25:00 AM  
Blogger ZenTiger said...

Actually, a right wing cat might also hire a moggy to do all the work, reap the profits and pay minimum wage. Maybe I should feed him, and see what he does with the food?

10/13/2005 09:33:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heheh. The left wing comments that are appearing on this and DPF's blog are really badly thought up, I would think they could really try a bit harder. Just goes to show how desperate they are to convince themselves and maybe others that what they represent is in anyway good for us.
The cat is a socialist Goddamnit, its owners are more than likely staunch academics or lawyers.

Poo.

10/13/2005 11:25:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hello poo..you have taken the title of 'most appropriatly named commenter' from the former holder of that title...belch...

phil(whoar.co.nz)

10/13/2005 12:03:00 PM  

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