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Tuesday, October 25, 2005

New Spate of Nigerian Spam Letters

My dearest Mr Fiinkensein

You will be forgiving me for the obliquness of my approach to your genial self. My dearly beloved cousin, Stella Obasanjo who died recently at the hands of that murderous Spanish cosmetic surgeon - why she could not get a solid reliable surgeon I do not know - was the biggest wife of President Obasanjo of Nigeria, The Big Man..

When her many times admired body was returned to my country, along with all the excess adipose tissue removed on the Costa del Sol, there was a mysterious dissapearance of her imprest account into which she had put away for a rainy day a few tens of millions of dollars, the real ones, those green American dollars. Mr Frankenstein, I have been reliably informed you are a genius and I am offering you half of the imprest account if you will just help me out just this once.

You see I am the only person who knows the location of the lovely green dollars. They are carefully lodged in a top secret location with lots of codes and passwords but unfortunately I am prevented from retrieving the loot because of course I am a black bastard and accordingly it is very difficult for me to pass myself of as a slimy Ayrab.. I need you to travel to Damascus and impersonate the brother in law of the Syrian president for somehow my foolish cousin inadvertantly allowed his name to appear on the deposit slip. All you have to do is learn to forge the attached signature, turn up at the Natianal Bank of Syria in Damascus where I will meet you and before you can say "N'garotte" we will be away laughing to the Levante.

Don't worry about this fellow. He is not dangerous provided you don't drive round in a car. He only bombs Lebanese.

Will you help me, dear Mr Einstein?

Just deposit fifty grand into my Te Awamutu ASB account and I will send you the air tickets and hotel reservations.

I remain your loyal and devoted accomplice,

N'Drongo Wananga Llb
· Linked Article

Posted by Adolf Fiinkensein | 10/25/2005 02:02:00 pm


Blogger ZenTiger said...

Most excellent Mr A LagerStein.

I'm rolling around on the floor laughing my head off. I'm adding this to my weekly joke round up.

10/25/2005 09:13:00 pm  
Anonymous victor kuzin said...

Dear Friend,

 Firstly, this is not to cause you embarrassment, I am Victor Kuzin and I represent Mr. Mikhail Khordokovsky the former C.E.O of Yukos Oil Company in Russia (Russian's Largest Oil Company) Chairman CEO: Menatep SBP Bank (A well reputable financial institution with its branches all over the world) .

I have a very sensitive and confidential brief from this top (oligarch)Â to ask for your partnership in re-profiling funds over US$31.5 million. I will give the details, but in summary, the funds are from Bank Menatep in Russia. The fund was packaged and dispatched to a security company in Europe for security reasons which I believe you are aware or will be made clear to you later. This is a legitimate transaction, you will be paid 7% for your 'management fees'.

The documents of the above funds in question was handed over to me to be used as part payment of an American oil merchant for his last oil deal with my boss Mikhail Khodorkovsky.While I was on the process, My Boss got arrested for his involvement on politics in financing the leading and opposing political parties (the Union of Right Forces, led by Boris Nemtsov, and Yabloko, a liberal/social democratic party led by Gregor Yavlinsky) which poses treat to President Vladimir Putin second tenure as Russian president.

(please your reply should be sent to me at mr.victorkuz@3xl.net) as it's safer to communicate with you from there.

All I need from you is to stand as the beneficiary of the above quoted sum and I will arrange for the documentation which will enable the Security Company in Europe hand over the entire deposit to you. I have decided to use this sum to relocate to American continent and never to be connected to any of Mikhail Khodorkovsky conglomerates. The transaction has to be concluded in soonest before Mikhail Khodorkovsky is out on bail.

If you are interested, please write back by email mr.victorkuz@3xl.net and provide me with your confidential telephone number, fax number and email address and I will provide further details and instructions. Please keep this confidential; we can't afford more political problems. Finally,please note that this must be concluded within two weeks. Please writeback promptly.I will also suggest you visit these news sites on the internet to be better about this project.


Write me back. I look forward to it.
Mr. Victor Kuzin
I await your reply soonest.

10/26/2005 12:56:00 am  
Blogger Chefen said...

Build it and they will come...

10/26/2005 01:46:00 am  

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