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Sunday, October 30, 2005

Be wary and be ware

Somewhere, in the time before election 05, Dr Cullen stepped from his cave, located high on Mt Cook, and spake:

"Yea who would cast a vote for National, to accept their bribe to take less money from your pay packet, I say to thee. Be wary. Indeed, Be ware. Be both wary and ware, for the evil of taking less money shall surely result in the bank demanding more of it. For every dollar the government taketh less, the banketh shall surely take more. As high is Mt Cook, so shall be the interest levied on your home. I have spake",

and then he went back into his cave, and he felt good.

So the people milled about in confusion, and when the votes were cast, Cullen was again appointed ruler of the purse, and he was pleased. And he known only as "Bollard" did increase the banks rates, and even though National had not taken less money, because they had been lawfully prevented from taking less, on the account that Labour was lawfully allowed to take more, Bollard also spake:

"Yea who would spend money on frivolous things such as rates, electricity, gas and phone - all of which have been cursed to increase more than the inflationary quantity of hot air in Dr Cullen's spakings, shall be punished."

"Ye shall henceforth payeth more money to the bank to prevent you spending more money at the supermarket."

"Ye shall henceforth pay more money to the bank because you did not save that which we now take"

"Ye shall henceforth consider not that holly day. Nor that Christmas pressie, nor that movie ticket. Nay, Serenity shall be denied, or at least the pop corn that one might buyeth.

Ye shall henceforth curse the day that Dr Cullen convinced you he knew what he was talking about, for the proof is now in your wallets. Open your wallets wide and examine the proof. Yea, though you see nothing, remember well that is all the proof you need, for nothing is what you will be left with as Dr Cullen prepares new taxes to ensure our precious government weathers the storm of hard times ahead.

And he known only as Bollard (or only as Alan, or only as the Governor, or only as Reserve Bank person, or only as basta...but I digress..) shall continue to curb spending by raising the rates, and as yea pay more and more to the bank yea shall surely wonder how much more spending shall be curbed, and where does all the curbed money flow.

And the banks shall announce record prophets. And the prophets reside in the land of Oz, where surely opportunity to discover gold becomes even more likely.

So be wary and be ware gentle tax givers. Be prepared to giveth until it hurteth. Giveth to the bank and giveth to the Department of Revenue. Consider Labour long and hard (or just Labour long and hard). Either way, they can spend it far better than you. Just watcheth them.
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Posted by ZenTiger | 10/30/2005 10:29:00 AM

3 Comments:

Blogger darren said...

Come on ZenT
We all know the government spends money better than we do.
Look at the wise spending at Te Puni Kokiri.
Spending $20-50K to make a morale boosting CD for staff is truly essential.
There's no fat to be trimmed in this department.
So what is this case alone amounts to several hip repalcements or something.
Or there is not the funding for police to investigate crime in Auckland.
Helen knows best! :)

10/30/2005 02:08:00 PM  
Blogger ZenTiger said...

Glad to see you are watching them Darren - I said so didn't I!

10/30/2005 02:54:00 PM  
Blogger Kimble said...

Just slap an Exclusive Brethren seal on it, Zen, and its ready for the next pamphlet drop I reckon.

10/31/2005 03:57:00 PM  

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