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Saturday, June 25, 2005

Adolfisms

Oh greeeeeeeeeen with envy am I. Oh gnaaaashing of teeth. Someone else has thunk up one of the cleverest, funniest, cuttingest, wittiest sobriquet's of all time.

Cullen is the Waste-Master General.

Clark is the Prime Waste-Master.

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/index.cfm?c_id=1&ObjectID=10332639

Can you see the next gill board? Headed 'Resposible Management' with 'Waste-Master' on the left and 'Past Master' on the right.

Before I knew about blogs, I wrote to the Gnats and berated them for having such a boring web site. 'How the hell do you expect to win an election with a piece of bancmange like that?' I asked. 'You need aggressive humour. Ridicule the useless bastards. Make them look stupid. Get people to start laughing at them. Where is the intelligent satire? Where is Jim Hopkins?' Did I really say all that? Well, some of it anyway.

There was no reply. A little while later I stumbled on McCully's newsletter. Hmmmmm. Not really what I was looking for, a bit too contrived and the humour is not terribly clever. And then someone told me about blogs. Ahaaaaa!!!! I'll show the buggers what I mean. Well, it's not quite that easy, is it? But I'm only a hammer chewer, I keep telling myself. For every nugget of gold you've got to pan a hell of a lot of sand.

My prime reason for accepting Lemur's invitation to contribute to this july journal (we're not quite august yet) was for an opportunity to take the piss out of Labour and do some serious damage to their chances of re-election. In this regard I think I can claim to have had a couple of small successes in amongst the dross. I knew I had made it when a professional jounalist (not a RB) took and used one of my creations, my adolfism, The Cullender. (Nothing he says holds water.) Thank you NBR. Go for it. Use them all, frequently and widely.

Some others I have noticed popping up in odd places include Dominatrix and The Tailor's Dummy. The proudest moment of all though, causing chest puffery and triumphal shouts from the roof tops was the Abu Dope piece which made it into the Herald.

I was right when I wrote to the Gnats and they seem to have taken some notice. Labour are so far up themselves that they've been made to look like tacky characters in a two bit sit com.

Posted by Adolf Fiinkensein | 6/25/2005 07:15:00 AM

2 Comments:

Blogger Gooner said...

Keep up the good work Adolf. Rome wasn't built in a day.

6/25/2005 09:34:00 AM  
Blogger ZenTiger said...

Cullen is the Waste-Master General. He seems very intent on taxing everything right down to the kitchen sink.

Still, no need to be green with envy. Think of it more of a growing society of lyrical waxers.

To paraphrase Arlo Guthrie:

You know, if one person, just one person does it they may think he's really sick and they wont believe him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony, they may think they're both faggots, and they won't believe either of them. And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in, alliterating in Adolfisms and walking out. They may think it's an organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day,I said fifty people a day walking in alliterating Adolfisms and
walking out. And friends they may thinks it's a movement.

And that's what we have starting here.

The Adolf Anti Dominatrix Cullender Movement, with full on Waste Master Significance and Abu-Dope Torturous Logic for the country to rally behind.

And all you got to do to join is to alliterate a few Adolfisms the next time it comes around on the blog post.

Here it comes....

6/25/2005 03:21:00 PM  

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