< link rel="DCTERMS.isreplacedby" href="http://sirhumphreys.com" > Sir Humphrey's: Outer Rowan Currants & Pears


SITE MOVED:Sir Humphrey's has moved

Please join us at our new site: www.sirhumphreys.com.

The RSS feed for sirhumphreys.com is now here.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Outer Rowan Currants & Pears

Last night a listless Tommy Hairix was interviewed by Paulemix, on his new currants and pears programme. “It wus a put up job. I wus framed” sobbed Tommy “by that stooge Dunny Can and that little short arse, no good, honky who had the nerve to actually go out West! Did you see that? They’re not even Westies and there they were, the bastards, plain as dog’s balls, hobnobbing at the Trust! At MY F*^#ING TRUST! The bloody cheek of them!!” (and they say Winston is racist!!)

Paulemix paused, blinked twice, wiped his chin and spluttered “Was it utu? Aaah - you know, revenge?” Apparently Tommy needed a translation.

“Utu? You’re dammned right it was revenge. That Goddam reporter’s maiden aunt’s dyslexic care giver was the tea lady at the Trust twelve years ago. That’s how I know it’s a frame up. I’ve been colluded, I have. That prick Joe Hunt in London gets eight grand’s worth of Westy plonk and I get framed!!! I’m going to make that bloody hobnobbing little honky wish he’d stayed out of politics. By the time I’ve finished with him he won’t even get a cooking programme on the Living Channel. You know Paul, one time they were going to give him one. They even had the name ready – “Gnome on The Range.”

“But but but but what did they actually do?” asked the erstwhile doyen of TV Left Wing currants and pairs. “What did they do?” screamed Tommy Hairix. “They TALKED to people about me. They ASKED QUESTIONS about me.”

Fatherly smile from Paulemix as the final camera rolled. “There there, Tommy old chap, that’s what reporters do.”

On the ninth floor, Dominatrix flicked the remote button, sighed and said “such a waste - and he could have been so good for me.”

Posted by Adolf Fiinkensein | 3/31/2005 09:28:00 AM